on the key to my heart

give back my TV, it don't mean that much to me, and while you're giving back my things, give me back the key to my heart...- Uncle Tupelo (Give Back The Key to My Heart)
______________________________________________________


Around this time last year, I was getting ready to go out to Atlanta, for my brother's graduation. I went shopping for something nice to wear, and while I was out I came across a very pretty silver necklace. It was a small heart shaped locket, with a key that could be put in it, dangling on a thin silver chain. While I'm not one to spend much on jewlrey, I thought of you, and it made me want to get that necklace. And so I bought it. I had the key to my heart safe and sound, hanging around my neck, and I had you.

Flash forward, and I break up with you a few months later. I can't take it.

The summer won out...

Isn't that how you put it? Mid summer I got the chance to see you. I carefully picked out the cutest outfit I had, and as I left the apartment to make the drive to lawrence, I instinctively grabbed the necklace, and put it around my neck. You didn't want me there- and my heart broke all over again. I sought solice elsewhere... and so the summer month's dragged on, and the school year started again, and still fresh around my neck was a thin silver chain, a simple necklace that always made me think of you. I thought you were my past, and I couldn't wait to meet my future, and than I ran into you again. It was nice to see you- it had been awhile.

I hope I don't throw you off your game.

The innocent message you send me, as I prepare for outrounds at that same tournament. I lose in the first round, and don't get to see you before we leave. It figures. The next time I see you there's a dangerous feeling in the area- a longing that's obvious to me and obvious to you. It's the first time I 've really gotten to be around you much since the break up, and it's so great to see you. I'm wearing the necklace, and when I get home after the tournament, I realize I can't find it, and fear I left it at the tournament hotel. I'd lost the key to my heart, and found you.

A couple months passed, and as I cleaned out my purse, I realized the lining was torn, and inside was the key to my heart necklace, I put it on, and got ready to go to Texas. I had spent the past few months torn, unsure of what I wanted to do, if I really thought we belong together. And then I saw you in Texas-

and I knew that I wa a goner, again.

That night when I got to see your house for the first time, as I leaned to kiss you, the necklace swung and got in the way. I told you how I'd gotten it when I was dating you before- how it was important to me. I took it off and you placed it on your end table, and I asked you not to let me forget it.

Everytime I saw you after, I always wore that necklace. A reminder to me, I guess. It made me think of you.

The last day of CEDA, before I started drinking and things went downhill, I was in my hotel room packing my bag. I knew I'd rather have everything ready to go now, then try to pack it with a hang over in the morning. I remember seeing the necklace, and I put it on. At dinner, I got a stain on my shirt and had to go back to my room to change. The only other shirt I had had a necklace preattached to it, and so I slipped the key to my heart off, and left it on the sink in the bathroom.

That night you broke up my heart.

The next day, I returned home.

This morning, as I got ready for work, I looked in the mirror, fixing my hair as always. As I smoothed my hair down and forced a smile I realized I was missing something- I didn't have a necklace on. I went looking for the key to my heart- only to realize I'd left it in Texas.

How fitting.