on normalcy

broke up and i'm relieved somehow, it's the end of the discussions that just go round and round, and round and round and round...- Modest Mouse (Broke)
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I'm leaning against the host stand at work, as my manager Kelly swings the door open for yet another customer. I force a smile onto my face-

How was everything?.... Have a great day!

The smile disappears as the door shuts behind the couple. I sigh and look at Kelly-

Can you just make everything be normal in my life?

She laughs at me-

Honey, abnormal is the normal thing these days.

What is normal, anyway?

Is it having your grandfather pass away, getting your heart broken, and having your sister betray you- all in a months time?

Is it being sick and miserable at the last tournament of the year for an activity you try so hard to prove yourself at?

Is it struggling to get by, each day, feeling so alone?

Maybe it is normal- maybe this whole time I've tried to smile and say it's all okay... but it's not. It's broke, it's upsetting- it's tearing me up... and it's just another part of life.

Doesn't make it any easier, though.