on changes

And everybody wants to see you fall, That's why the always love to get you high, And everybody knows you need the pain so much, Lady, Well, keep in touch, Baby...- Ryan Adams (The Rescue Blues)
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I feel like everyone and everything around me is changing and moving at this unbelievable pace... and I'm running to catch up. It's really hard, though.

You know how you have those big changes in your life? This is one of those periods, for me. Only I'm not going anyway. I'll still be there. Still at the same job... same school... same life really. But everyone else, everyone I've known. The people that have been big in my life for the past few years... they're all leaving, they're all moving on. And I want to move on too, but it's a little scary to think about.

It makes me sad- because I don't feel like I appreciated them when I had them around, all the time. Roommates, friends, boyfriends- I'm losing (or have lost) all of them this spring, and it's going to make for a very odd summer, and a strange next year.

I'll still see some of you.. but the changes are already there. It's already different, and I'm not really comfortable with it yet.

Why can't I just be left alone?