on ease

Baby you’re the only one that’s ever known how, To make me wanna live like I wanna live now. The waiting is the hardest part. Every day you see one more card, You take it on faith, you take it to the heart. The waiting is the hardest part.- Tom Petty (Waiting)
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It's supposed to get easier, with time. Has it? I guess so. Easier in some ways, harder in others. I don't cry in the morning or at nigh anymore. I don't wish you ill will- I don't harness a hope that we'd one day get back together- but I can't seem to seperate myself from you. It's like in everything I do, there's this reminder.

I'm driving down the street, and the stupid car in front of me that's driving ridiculously slow, has a Texas license plate.

I'm surrounded by basketball, the mavericks, especially.

I change the channel, and it's the Astro's playing.

Ben goes to an Atmosphere concert.

Jose tells me tonight while we're closing that he's going to Dallas, next week.

Is the world trying to test me? To see if I can trudge through it all? Well, good job world. I can't. I can't do anything less, and I can't be anyone but me. It's not easy, it's hard. Everything reminds me of you. It's really annoying. Can't I just not think of you, can't I just not... care? That's really the problem- I still care. Whether I should or not... I do. How lame. Tom Petty was right damn it, waiting really is the hardest part. I'm waiting to move on... I really just need a push in the right direction. Perhaps that's what Cinco de Mayo can offer to me?