on moving on.

Am I the habit you're too tired to break? I want you to love me with every step you take. Dar Williams (Closer to Me)
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You're so out of my top five.

I wink and flick my card at the boy with the twinkling gray eyes.

Is that all it takes?

I shrug at his response, and turn back to Mary.

New Top Five: Zach, Tom, John, Romeo, and Dave.

We laugh, and giggle and I think to myself that I like just being in Springfield, and being at home, and working a lot and being around this group of people. It reminds me why I spend every summer so seperated from the debate world.

We have this new MIT, Edmundo, who has told me that I'm such a nice person- that I'm always so quiet at work, and that he bets outside of work I have this total attitude, the example he gave was-

So I bet your boyfriend gets you flowers and you're all "so?" "What? Does this mean something?"

He's a funny guy, Edmundo. He always tells everyone they're the "best".

I'm getting caught up in the 'Bee's and every day drags me further away from you. I've found my musical other and a fun group of people to go to "church" with. I start to think that I really have moved on from you- and then I walk through the door after working a double and ask Wendy for the mail. She pulls it out of her purse with a mischievious smile, and sitting on top is a small card addressed to me, from Texas. A graduation announcement. It slipped my mind- and you and all that's going on with you floods back to the front. I really hope things work out for you. I really hope we can be friends later on- and I really hope that I can move on. But for now, I'm back to where I was before.

I typed "I want you to break my heart, and be a jerk", and then deleted it realizing you've already done that. I need a new method to moving on.

Suggestions?