on getting me

All she wanted was a little bit of solid, Feels like love, it doesn't matter what you call it. Heal those cuts or hide 'em underneath the polish, Break another promise and take me as a hostage (take me).- Atmosphere (Pour Me Another)
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I feel his arm snake under my side as he curls closer towards me.

I want to have the energy to get up and walk away,

But I am too far gone to care anymore,

so I accept this gesture,

even though I know it means nothing.

on breathing

I want to change the world, but still, I sleep. I want to believe in more, than you and me. All that I know is i'm breathing. All I can do is keep breathing. All we can do is keep breathing, now.- Ingrid Michaelson (Keep Breathing)
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I think to myself if I lay perfectly still, then I will actually be asleep, if I just keep my breathing even, I'll be done. I'll drift off into dream world, where meteor showers rain down, and boys don't break my heart.

I won't be called nothing,

I won't have a boy I hardly know caress the side of my face and think he gets me.

I won't be cold,

I won't be lost,

I'll just breathe-

in and out.

And it'll all be okay.

on goodbye (again)

I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know, then I can't remember caring for an hour or so, started crying and I couldn't stop myself, I started running but there's no where to run to. I sat down on the street, took a look at myself, said where you going man you know the world is headed for hell, say all goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to.- Matchbox Twenty (How Far We've Come)
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That was the worst goodbye in the history of goodbyes,

I say as I glance at him from the other side of the bar. He looks back at me, unphased.

What did you want me to do, throw you down and do you in the parking lot?

If ever there was a time to describe lightning flashing in one's eyes, I suspect mine at that moment would fit the description.

No. But I expected something more than a handshake and 'its been nice working with you.' I've gotten more personal goodbyes from people I've known a lot less.

I punctuate the statement by slamming the lid on top of the blender. I hate making shakes.

The blender whirls to life, and we lapse into silence, staring at eachother.

So, what, do you hate me?

I sigh as the blender comes to a stop, and pull the blender free of its base.

No, I don't hate you. I hate the fact that I don't hate you.