Tuesday, July 08, 2008

on you and me

You could be happy, and I won't know. But you weren't happy the day I watched you go. And all the things that I wish I had not said, are played in loops til it's madness in my head. Is it too late to remind you of how we were, but not our last days of silence, screams and blur. - Snow Patrol (You Could Be Happy)
___________________________________________________________

The problem with you and me is simple:

I like you too much to walk away,

and you're too nice of a guy to realize that staying hurts me more than if you would just walk away from me.

But you're not so nice that you'll ever actually be there for me like I need you to be.

So there's you-

and there me-

and they never seem to quite fit together, but apart it feels awfully lonely.

Friday, July 04, 2008

on you.

And here you are right in front of me offering it all like tell me what you want from me, I wanna love you today and forever, Let me clear my through and rub my wings together.- Atmosphere (Happy mess)
____________________________________________________________

What are you thinking?

Arms snake around my side and pull me close as we lay curled up together.

It's all so surreal- you, me, this. Us. The rum and cokes calmed my nerves, the shots make it feel like a dream.

I could stay like this forever,

I say, wishing almost immediately afterwards that I hadn't-

Forever isn't in my vocabulary,

He tells me, pulling me just a little closer to contradict the statement, and I know I shouldn't, but I let myself get lost in the closeness and the warmth and the comfort of the familiar that I forget.

He broke my heart in a way I never thought it could- and I have a horrible awful no good feeling that I'm about to get my second dose of pain.

Do I ever learn?