on some level

I struggle with myself again, Quickly the walls are crumbling, Don't know if I can turn away.- Meredith Brooks (What Would Happen)
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I don't know how to be honest with myself,

Somewhere between the fine line of keeping you at bay, and staying your friend, I've lost sight of what I was after.

And what am I after?

I'm more complex then you think,

you tell me.

So am I,

I retort. You think you have me figured out. I'm more than you think, and I don't think you can handle me.

I'm emotional. I'm caring, I know you-

I want to believe that, on some level. While I tell the others I don't care, while I joke you're no one to me, I can't completely hide the truth. But that's just the problem, I hear so much, I know so much, I can't in good faith ever believe a word you say to me.

Do you want to know me? Do you want it all to make sense? We're too different.

I'm too much for you-

I don't know how to finish this statement. But I am. You can't handle me and my 34098754 emotions, my multiple moods. One day I can't get enough of you, the next I don't want to deal. What's that say about me? I'm not sure. I want to be open with you... but I'm afraid you'll break my heart.