on headaches

The sunrise ain't pretty when you ain't been to bed, tomorrow is today instead. And I know where you wanna go, the devil has crawled inside your nose. I've run with you as far as I can go, completely out of control.- Bobby Bare Jr (The Terrible Sunrise)
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I'm sitting in a chair, my legs dangling over the side, my feet touching the seat of the chair next to me. I'm singing along to a bad Michael Jackson song while all around me people dance, fight, and fall around. I stop singing along, to take in the moment.

How did I get here?

Is it bad when you start the night with a headache?

Flash to earlier in the evening as I occupy that same seat, and you lean against the couch turned bed of the apartment we're spending the evening at.

It'll go away,

I tell you as I take a sip of my latest concoction.

Do you want me to make you a drink?

It seems like this is the logical solution at the time, and we make our way to the kitchen where we take back to back shots of watermelon flavored rum.

It burns my throat, and I immediately chase it with cran-apple juice to make the taste go away.

Why am I doing this?

It tastes so good, you shouldn't chase it.

Tastes good?

I want to argue, but I don't, and instead as if to prove a point, I take a swig straight from the bottle just as the girl in front of me has, and I try to ignore the burning sensation once again- resisting the urge to grab my cup of juice, I set the bottle back on the counter.

Not bad.

I take another shot, just to prove my point. Since when does drinking more mean anything?

And so here we are- I'm back in the seat, you're moving about, everyone's dancing and I should be having a grand old time, but really I can't help but wonder how I got here- how did I end up like this? I'm so unhappy with where I am and I have no idea how to change it. I want to stop drinking. I want to sober up, drive home to my bed, and call it a night. I have class at 9am and if I had a half a brain, I'd walk away now.

My headache is gone,

you're by my side, and I smile at you. No need to let everyone around me know the unhappy thoughts I'm having- i'll be ready to go soon enough.

You need another drink,

I want to argue, but I let you bring me my cup that I had strategically left in the other room. I go to take a drink, and only have a sip. It's 2am.... 7 hours.

I'm up on the table, dancing about with the girls, shaking my ass and doing what 20 year girls are supposed to do at a party....

get drunk and act belligerant?

Let's take a shot-

I agree and we go to the kitchen-

to drugs, sex, and rock n roll,

the five shot glasses clink and I down the shot in a single gulp.

So much for going home any time soon.

My head begins to hurt...

the headache is starting.