on last names

Get it, got it, catch it, caught it, and lost it. Yet I can't stop it, it's embedded in my optics, Plus the frustration is a product of the gossip, If you can't walk away can you at least change the topic?- Atmosphere (A Song About a Friend)
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I slept with his best friend last night.

The shock on her face is expected, and my face becomes flushed with color just thinking about the idiotic thing I've done-

I don't even know his last name,

This solicits a laugh as I turn to drive down the road, turning the music up to drown out any further conversation.

I can't believe it! I'm so proud,

she jokes, yelling over the music, but than turning it down, as I roll my eyes.

Don't be. I've royally fucked my life up now, thanks. Everyone knew.

Where were you?

Some party. I don't even know how it happened-

You were consciously making the decision, right?

Sure. But I'm probably willing to do a lot after the amount I had,

I say truthfully, adding-

It's not that i regret it, I just, don't think it was the smartest thing I've ever done.

We all make mistakes babe, you're so my sister,

she assures me, a twinkle in her eyes. I still don't feel better.

So about the other night-

I'm on the phone with you now and not sober. Am I ever sober, anymore?

I can't believe that happened-

I mumble, staring at the tree right outside the back porch I'm standing on, I can reach out and touch it easily if I want, but it looks prickly so I refrain.

I don't even know his last name,

I lament. You laugh. That seems to be the common response to my honest sad thought.

He's not right for you, he's a total douche-

you tell me. Insert twenty minute rant about why he's so wrong, such a jerk, and i'm better off.

Thanks, I guess?

The next night I lay awake in bed, staring at my ceiling. How'd I get here, why'd things end up like this? I tell myself that I'm just making mistakes and living life, but I'm not so sure. I fall asleep peacefully, telling myself I'll forget you and him and all that mess. Sometimes you just have to let go.

In the morning I awake to my alarm, and to my surprise, a text message. I open it up- it's from you-

His last name is Stewart!

Complete with the exclamation, I throw my phone across the room, and bury back into my covers.

I liked it better when I didn't know.