on reality (an explanation)

How does it feel? To be on your own? Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone, no direction home..- Bob Dylan (Like a Rolling Stone)
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Everything I ever did was to make you happy, make you love me.

As I type the words, my body shakes and the tears pour freely down my cheeks. Who knew it would be so hard?

I remember this one time- you told me I didn't have to try. Because you knew. You knew I'd never be good enough.

Who says that? I want to scream and throw things, but all I can do is sob.

You always make it about something else. I've tried it all: I get A's. I work hard, I debate- and for what? So the one time my life goes astray, you make me feel like shit?

You're supposed to be there for me,

not a critic.

I press the send button, and with it comes a feeling of relief.

I hope you're happy, dad.